


Half A Heart

by juliet_oscar



Category: The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue Series - Mackenzi Lee
Genre: Domestic, Fluff and Angst, M/M, set after lady's guide, spoilers for lady's guide, they're both such disasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 12:19:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliet_oscar/pseuds/juliet_oscar
Summary: Monty and Percy move into Johanna's house (as Felicity suggested at the end of lady's guide) and they struggle to get back to life as usual after their dragon-saving adventure.‘Hello darling,’ I say earning a smile from Percy.‘I think it’s time for bed.’I agree and follow him abovestairs to our room. For the sake of appearances, we have another bedroom set up down the hall that visitors will be told is Percy’s room but really the big, airy room at the front of the house will be ours. Our room in our house where we get to spend quiet evenings together.





	1. One

I am spread out on a couch in the sitting room of Alexander Platt’s townhouse. Well, not Platt’s exactly. The townhouse now belongs to Johanna, who I suppose is technically Johanna Platt, but I would never dare call her that to her face for fear of another well-placed knee to the groin. 

Let’s say I am spread out on a couch in the sitting room of the townhouse formerly owned by Alexander Platt, currently being occupied by Percy and me. 

Semantics aside this is Percy and my first night at the house. Johanna had embarked for Stuttgart this morning after helping us move our meager belongings from the flat in Moorfields. 

The pleasure of having an entire house all to ourselves is exquisite. We spent most of the day exploring and rearranging the house to our liking. After a dinner pulled together with the few supplies currently in the pantry, Percy had lit the fire in the sitting room, and we had settled in for a quiet evening.

Percy brought out his violin and after some tuning began to play through my favorite songs. I have never particularly cared for the concerts I have been dragged to all my life but when Percy plays the music has a warmth and a closeness that I adore.

I took my place on the couch and began flipping through a book I found in the library. I have never been much of a reader, but upon giving up drinking and carousing, I found myself with quite a lot of time on my hands. 

After a while, I set the book aside to enjoy the warmth of the fire and sound of the violin, not to mention my chosen title had turned out to be a bit of a bore. 

I wake to the sound of Percy saying my name. The world is warm and soft as I open my eyes. 

‘Hello darling,’ I say earning a smile from Percy.

‘I think it’s time for bed.’

I agree and let him lead me abovestairs to our room. For the sake of appearances, we have another bedroom set up down the hall that visitors will be told is Percy’s room but really the big, airy room at the front of the house will be ours. Our room in our house where we get to spend quiet evenings together. 

We prepare for bed in companionable silence. I’m not shy about stealing looks at Percy as he undresses and every time he catches me he flashes me a loving smile. 

Once in bed, I find us facing each other my face inches from his. I brush our noses gently against each other, and he smiles. It’s his perfect, unguarded, just for me smile. It is often accompanied by a blush and lets me know that I’m being unbearably adorable. I savor it, I wish I could bottle the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach every time Percy looks at me like this. 

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by Percy’s lips on mine. He starts gently, cradling my face with his hand but soon he has his fingers tangled in my hair and his tongue in my mouth. I am by no means complaining, but I am surprised by how quickly he moved from sleepy smiles to these almost frantic open-mouthed kisses.

Our lips part briefly as he pushes me on to my back. He takes this moment as an opportunity to crawl on top of me. As he settles his weight on me, I tip my head back and groan with the pleasure of feeling his body on mine. Percy begins to kiss my freshly exposed neck. 

It is at this moment when I am overcome by the sensation of him that he dips his hand under the hem of my nightshirt and wraps his fingers delicately around me. 

Nothing, nothing compares to the feeling of Percy’s hands on me. My toes curl into the sheets, and it takes all of my will power not to fall to pieces right now. 

It has been so long since he’s touched me like this. It has been months of chaste kisses and gentle caresses as he recovered… Remembering that horrible day on the Eleftheria brings my thoughts to a grinding halt. 

It’s apparent that it is more than my mind that shifts direction when Percy’s hand stills and he asks, ‘Monty?’

When I don’t respond, he asks, ‘Is everything okay?’

And of course, nothing is okay. He almost died, first from the gunshot then there were the weeks of fear about infection. Even now that the puckered scar on his chest has healed enough to no longer require bandages the wrong move could cause it to reopen. 

‘Are you,’ I start slowly, ‘are you feeling up for this?’ 

He narrows his eyes and sits back, removing his hand from under my shirt. I almost groan with the loss of contact, but now that I've started down this path I need to be sure. 

‘What?’

I sit up on my elbows.

‘I mean, I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Felicity was pretty explicit about no strenuous activity…’ 

Trust me when I say there is very little more mortifying than having your younger sister; who you are fairly sure has never participated in sexual thoughts, never mind actions; tell you that ‘fornication is completely off the table’ for the foreseeable future. 

Percy huffs, ‘Christ Monty, I thought we had established that I’m not a fragile creature you need to protect from harm.’

This was not the response I was expecting, ‘that’s not, that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to check, to be sure…’

‘Why don’t you trust me? Why do you think it is your job to be sure I’m safe. I know my body, Monty, I know what I can handle. I don’t need you babying me.’ 

‘I’m not babying you, I’m just…’ I can’t finish the sentence.

‘What, Monty? You’re what? Afraid? I can’t do this if you are constantly afraid.’

It's evident from the way he says 'this' he means more than just sex. 

I sit up against the pillows. This change in position unintentionally results in Percy being unceremoniously pushed off my lap. 

‘Of course, I’m afraid! I felt you stop breathing and there was nothing I could do until my sister cut you open with a corkscrew so of course, I’m afraid.’ 

Hot tears are streaming down my face now.

‘So what? Because I got hurt that one time, we’re never going to have sex again?’ He gathers himself and stands, ‘if that’s how you feel, fine. I’m going to sleep in my room.’ 

He walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him. I’m left cold and alone in bed, not sure what exactly happened. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and settle in for a fitful night of sleep.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monty and Percy talk about their feelings. 
> 
> ‘I can’t explain to you what that was like. I mean, you stopped breathing. I was sitting there on the deck of that ship trying to hold you together as my entire world was gushing through my fingers. And I kept wondering how it was possible that I could be alive when you had stopped breathing. How can a person continue living when half their heart is lying still on the ground? Then Felicity cut you open, and the sound of your first breath was the most wonderful and wretched thing I have ever heard because it gave me hope but no guarantee. I could still lose you at any moment and then what? So I was being overly cautious, I was giving into my fears because if anything happened to you Percy that would be it for me.’

I wake in a cold, empty bed. It is so completely unfair. It is our first morning in our new home, I should be watching Percy slowly rising from the depths of sleep, opening his eyes and smiling at me. 

Instead, I am lying here, staring at the ceiling, filled with self-loathing. It isn’t so much that I regret what I said last night but that I regret everything I’ve done before last night that makes Percy think I don’t trust him. 

I eventually rouse myself and get dressed. We have no planned guests or outings today, so I just pull on a simple shirt and trousers before heading downstairs.

I find Percy at the dining table reading a paper. He doesn’t look up when I enter. He has prepared a pile of toast that is sitting in the middle of the table, but upon reaching for a piece, I realize it is cold. I don’t know if this is simply a sign of how long he has been awake or some passive aggressive statement. Either way, I eat my cold toast in silence.

Finally, this becomes completely unbearable.

‘Percy,’ I say tentatively, almost a question. When he doesn’t respond I continue, ‘Percy, can we please talk about this.’

He sets down his paper, ‘I’m not sure what there is to talk about.’

I stare at him incredulously.

‘We’ve had this conversation so many times, Monty. What more do I need to say? My body doesn’t work the same as yours. I have fits, I have scars, I was shot. It means I have to consider things others don’t have to, but it doesn’t mean I’m broken. You act as if I’m so fragile one touch from you will destroy me. I can’t live my life afraid of my body, and I can’t live with someone who is,’ he stands, ‘I’m going to spend some time rearranging the library. I’m sure you can find yourself some household task to occupy you.’

At this, he walks out of the room leaving dead air in his place.

I fuss around in the kitchen for a while, going through drawers and cabinets. It is half-hearted at best and given my total lack of cooking skill, entirely useless. Johanna has hired a cook to come in to make us dinner and leave us food for the next day so we wouldn’t starve. Given this fact it is highly unlikely, I will be returning to the kitchen any time soon, but I find the quiet coolness of the room comforting. 

I continue dawdling in various rooms pointlessly shifting furniture and various household items. It is after finding what appears to be jar containing a pickled snake tucked away in the drawing room that I decide it is time to try, once more, to talk to Percy. 

I hesitate outside the closed door of the study, I consider knocking but decide against it. When I enter the room, I see Percy has removed all of the books from the shelves lining the walls. He is now carefully replacing books in a more organized manner than they were in previously. 

He doesn’t turn from his task when I enter the room. I sit sideways on the couch facing him. 

I wait for a moment before I say, ‘Percy?’ He stills, ‘Percy, I’m sorry.’ 

At this, he sets down the book he is holding and turns to me eyebrows raised. 

‘I’m sorry I’ve been such an inconsiderate ass for so long that you think I don’t trust you. I’m sorry that I have acted like you’re broken or fragile or somehow not enough. You aren’t. You’re so strong, Perce. You are so much more than enough. I’m sorry I have not acknowledged what a miraculous person you are and how lucky I am to love you.’ 

His expression softens and I know I have gotten through the easy part. 

‘I wasn’t doubting you last night. I wasn’t doubting your body or your understanding of it. I was afraid. Not of you, never of you. I was afraid of everything we have no control over. I was afraid that something unexpected would happen and I would have to go back to that horrible day on the Eleftheria,’ I look down so he can’t see how much the thought of this upsets me, ‘I can’t explain to you what that was like. I mean, you stopped breathing. I was sitting there on the deck of that ship trying to hold you together as my entire world was gushing through my fingers. And I kept wondering how it was possible that I could be alive when you had stopped breathing. How can a person continue living when half their heart is lying still on the ground? Then Felicity cut you open, and the sound of your first breath was the most wonderful and wretched thing I have ever heard because it gave me hope but no guarantee. I could still lose you at any moment and then what? So I was being overly cautious, I was giving into my fears because if anything happened to you Percy that would be it for me.’

I look up when I feel him sit down at the other end of the couch. All the anger from earlier has disappeared, his face set with concern. He has one leg folded underneath him on the couch, the other on the floor. When I meet his eye, he reaches for me, and I lean in and fall against his chest. 

He strokes my hair and says, ‘I know you’re afraid. I’m sorry,’ we take a few breaths together before he continues, ‘you have to believe me, Monty, as much as you don’t was to lose me, I don’t want to go. I will do everything I can to spend every moment I can with you. I want to wake up every morning with you and watch you grow old. I’m not going to do anything to jeopardize that. You have to trust me.’

‘I do,’ I nod against his shoulder. 

Percy leans back to rest both our weights against the arm of the couch. I curl against him, my head on his chest. I can feel his heart beating against my cheek. I raise a hand and place it on his stomach, between his ribs, right where Felicity cut him, where I can feel the rise and fall of his breaths. We lie like this for a while.

Absentmindedly I start gently rubbing his stomach with my thumb. I can feel the scar from my sister’s incision through the fabric of his shirt. 

Looking up at him I ask, ‘Does it hurt?’ 

He frowns and shakes his head, ‘Not much, a bit sensitive but not very painful. 

I nod and sit back, he pushes up on his elbows. 

‘Can I see?’ 

I haven’t seen the wounds up close since I stopped having to help him dress them every night. 

He lifts his shirt over his head in response. The lower scar is thin and raised. The bullet wound, on the other hand, is a puckered pink crater in his chest. Still, it looks better than I anticipated and I say as much.

‘Yeah, they’re healing pretty nicely,’ he says looking down at his chest. 

I reach out and run my hand over the bullet scar, he winces slightly. 

‘That one hurts a bit more.’ 

I nod and move back, surveying him as a whole. It’s strange seeing this body I know so well so changed, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

‘I kind of like it.’

‘Really?’ he smirks.

‘Yes, it gives you a devil may care, courageous, knight wounded while defending dragons look.’

He grins, open-mouthed and laughing, ‘Yeah? If I’m the courageous knight are you my damsel in distress.’

Throwing a hand to my forehead, I lean back into the arm of the couch, feigning a swoon. 

When I open my eyes, Percy is hovering above me. Looking down at me he bites his lower lip, and before I can decide my next course of action, he is kissing me. 

Unlike last night he does not start gently. His mouth is insistent against mine as he presses his thumbs into my hips. 

He drags his teeth over my bottom lip before slowly beginning to make his way down my neck. I let out a groan as his fingers slip to the waist of my trousers, but he simply untucks my shirt and lifts it above my head before replacing his lips on my neck.

Upon reaching my collarbone, he takes my skin in his teeth again. I gasp at the sharp pain this elicits. 

He pauses, ‘Too much?’

I shake my head fervently, and he resumes placing careful bites down my collarbone before soothing each mark with his lips. 

When he rolls one of my nipples between tongue and teeth I whimper and writhe beneath him. I look down and find him grinning, thoroughly enjoying teasing me.

I begin to unlace his breeches fumblingly. He wriggles out of them before helping me out of my own. The feeling of his skin on mine is so overwhelming I begin to worry that this will all end much sooner than I was hoping.

He places an open-mouthed kiss on my hip before sitting back on his heels between my spread legs. His hands still on my hips, he grips my arse so hard I arch my back with a sigh. 

It is now that he decides to pause.

‘The lineament is abovestairs.’

I groan in frustration, wanting him inside me already. 

‘Should we…’ he begins.

I nod emphatically. 

He takes a few shaky breaths before standing. Reaching out a hand to help me up, he smiles. 

When we are standing face to face, he laughs, flashing me a big open-mouthed grin. I can’t help from joining him. It’s a bit ridiculous; we’re standing in the study of this new house, stark naked, at 10 in the morning, both so hard a light breeze might send either of us over the edge.

He takes my face in both of his hands and kisses me, still laughing our teeth clack together. 

Pulling back he smiles, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ I respond before he kisses me again. 

‘Shall we?’ he asks gesturing to the door.

I nod, and he takes my hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm so sorry for saying I had more planned and then not posting for a couple of months, my December and January were completely taken up with PhD applications.
> 
> Now that I have a little bit more free time I have gone back and read everyone's comments on the other two fics and I really appreciate them.
> 
> I really do have more fics planned for these two and hopefully, now that things in my life have calmed down a bit I can start posting more regularly!


End file.
